This book is about the relationship between Kiese and his mother. His mother thinks she understands this world to a better degree than he or anyone else did from her view as a black woman. She almost has this plan for Kiese to strictly follow to make it in this world. We see this take a toll on Kiese not only physically by eating but also taking his mental image and shattering it. His mother loves Kiese and he loved her, but this is often as we see not always functional. The biggest problem that Kiese deals with throughout these first chapters is just how much isn’t said. Avoidance is something his family has just accepted as normal from racism in his family to straight up ignorance. A way that this family has dealt with pain is to take zero accountability for actions and events. 

  I think this starts with grandmama and she also portrays avoidance but in a different but similar manner to mom. She will avoid a problem because there is simply no way she thinks it will ever be solved. We see this when she was cleaning the white folks house when Kiese asked if they know your name is Catherine or do they think it’s Reno?” she says, “I know my name and I know how much they pay me”. This avoids the truth that she is being used. 

   There is this culture of learned helplessness that the family is portraying onto Kiese here that will only lead him to one day pass on this black anxiety as well. This is how generational damage is accumulated and it is very easy for generations to never know there is or want any better. This book is the first attempt we are shown to be open and completely honest. He is the first in the family to break this change and address the problems head on even if they are painful and not even where they need to be yet.  

 Kiese’s mother doesn’t want to face accountability. She understands that in trying to help Kiese in things she is unsure of, Kiese might realize she knows just as little as he does. To keep Kiese framed in her reality she would beat, scream, and abuse him to make sure he was what she wanted. A fear of a parent isn’t a functional relationship, and we know that just from reading the book. We can see that Kiese chooses to be ignorant to make sure he isn’t put in an uncomfortable situation.  I believe that in this book Kiese is trying to figure out how to acknowledge and accept his and the world’s issues for what they are. Problems don’t always have to be solved and situations don’t always have to be comfortable, but they are necessary for growth as a person.